overdosing on the caffeine while simultaneously expelling his toxic spider venom into the coffee below

It is 2:15 a.m. Why am I still up? My thoughts keep drifting back to that spider in my coffee grounds. I usually grind my own beans in the morning. Since my roommate and his girlfriend moved back in, I now have to take the GE coffee grinder in the bathroom at 7 a.m. to grind my coffee so I do not wake them up. Tomorrow I will post something about coffee, possibly my daily coffee procedure—as I said earlier, this morning I made some Millstone Kona. I saw some single serving (perhaps 2 ounce) packets of different varieties of Millstone on sale at Wal-Mart for like a dollar each, so I got a few to expand my tastes. Now, I am wondering if the spider had been sealed up inside the little single serving packet before it was even in my apartment.

Anyhow, I fished him out of the grounds and spread him out for a picture as if it wasn't obvious. He is currently in storage in an Altoids tin. I think I will take him into the biology department tomorrow and see if anyone there can identify it. I just noticed I switched pronouns and started referring to it as “him”. That little bastard. The BrewStation seems somehow tainted now; knowing he was swimming around in my grounds, boiled alive, probably soaking up and overdosing on the caffeine while simultaneously expelling his toxic spider venom into the coffee below.

A friend showed me a psychology textbook once. It contained pictures of different spiders injected with high doses of various drugs and the results of their affected web structures. The spider that was administered LSD spun a very patterned web (more so than usual, somewhat psychedelic), while the spider given THC spun a very lazy looking web—as if it crafted one corner and decided to give up and go lay down for awhile. The caffeinated spider however spun the most bizarre web of all, a completely random stroke of web with no pattern at all. At times when I am heavily caffeinated myself, I think back to that picture and imagine my mind zooming around in such a pattern. Sort of like now. Speaking of which, I just Googled “spider LSD web” and found exactly what I wanted in the first link result…

Proof positive that the Internet is awesome.