The reality of too many options

I bought my first pocketknife at Mammoth Cave National Park when I was just five years old. It was a small, single blade knife with a plastic, yellow handle. It had a picture of a horse on the handle that said “Kentucky” and it only cost $1. Although my parents told me just to keep it in my pocket, the first chance I got in the bathroom stall, I opened it up in admiration and accidentally cut myself.

As boys often do in emulation of their fathers, I absorbed many of my dad’s interests and passions, especially for pocketknives. Over the years I have enjoyed carrying a wide variety of knives and have learned all about different steels, blades, handle materials, and even a little history about certain U.S. knife companies like W.R. Case & Sons. I was always cautioned to avoid foreign cutlery, with exception to European companies such as Zwilling J. A. Henckels and Victorinox, maker of the ever-popular Swiss Army Knife.

I first saw a Swiss Army Knife at the Louisville Zoo in the late Eighties. My parents were paying the admission fee and I noticed the college-age guy taking the money in the little booth had one on his key ring. I asked him about it and he opened up few of the blades. I was totally amazed at the possibilities of so many tools, even the corkscrew. Soon afterwards I got one for my birthday and carried it wherever I went. Later on in my life I advanced to Leatherman tools after losing my Swiss Army Knife on a fishing trip.

Many people question the validity of Switzerland’s army and if they actually have one. It turns out they do in fact have an army and a defense department since at least 1848. The Swiss Army Knife was first issued to Swiss soldiers in 1891. It was invented by a man named Karl Elsener. It had wooden handles with a can opener, a screwdriver, a knife blade and the mysterious punch blade still present on some modern Swiss Army Knives but it's not very useful (unless you are losing weight from starvation out in the wilderness and you need a new hole punched in your belt to keep your pants up.)

So recently I have switched back to carrying a Swiss Army Knife. Nothing too elaborate, just a simple Tinker model. However, as I was surfing the Web today I discovered a startling new model that tells me Victorinox has gotten a little out of control. This is not a joke.